Friday, June 1, 2018

SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY

Recently I found myself in a precarious situation. I'm not the type of woman that allows herself to get comfortable on temptations shore, but that was exactly where I found myself.

Beached. Marooned. Stranded. And liking it.
How did I end up on this particular island you may wonder. Let me explain.

I was cruising along in life following God when all of a sudden I found myself beached. At first my arrival on shore was pleasantly satisfying. I enjoyed procrastinating by telling myself I would eventually get to the task God assigned for me. But as time slipped by (about a year and a half) the refreshing beach began to get hot and uncomfortable. My mental paradise became a dry and thirsty wilderness.

I knew I was way off course. A believer can be marooned by any number of things.. For me it was an invisible villain, disobedience.  Over the past year I had cut many corners in my relationship with God. Don't get me wrong. I was doing all the right things like going to church, serving, giving and tithing. I didn't lie, steal, covet or kill but the one thing I believed God was asking of me I made daily excuses as to why I could not obey. It boiled down to whether I trusted God enough to move forward with my writing or forever sleep with the enemy.

 Fear of rejection and failure to produce worthwhile articles became constant friends. They fueled my thoughts with all the reasons why I should stay and rest awhile on this deserted shore. You're not good enough. You're to old. You're not educated...bla, bla. It felt so much easier to get cozy with my fear. Over time we became casual friends and were completely comfortable together.

I knew I had a problem but I kept hoping a big Cruise Ship would come along and rescue me. Finally, when I couldn't stand the ache in my heart to get back on course I cried out to God. My soul thirsts for you; my flesh longs for you. In a dry and thirsty land where there is no water. (Psalm 63:1) More than the temporary comfort my excuses gave me I hated the distance this subtle sin created between me and my God.

While I slept, disobedience became its own type of prison. The longer I procrastinated the greater my insecurities surfaced. I had a choice. I could sit back and wait for the enemy, Satan, to pick my bones like the buzzard he is or I could conquer my fears and resume my journey into the good things God has for me.

I knew my escape wouldn't be easy. The desert is symbolic of of all the obstacles and hardships that stand between people and their dreams. I would have to "do it afraid." I started with small steps like writing a bio and submitting a short story. My submission was accepted right away! I was thrilled but sorry that for such a long time I let Stinkin Thinkin keep me from God's best.

I learned a lot on that secluded island. For one thing I found that God never leaves us stranded, even when our own choices put us in bad situations. He loves us enough to gently lead us back to himself. Many of the great leaders of faith like Moses hid for a while in the desert. He was promoted by God when he finally came out of his desert hideaway and followed the Lord's leading. He did it afraid.

Maybe God wants to promote you. Maybe he is just waiting for you to take the first step out of the wilderness and toward freedom. Don't wait till you find yourself sleeping with the enemy. Grab your canteen of living water and move to higher ground.

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. (Isaiah 43:19 ESV)